I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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