Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
