I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
