Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
