The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize