Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
