You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
