she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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