Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
