What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
