I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
