Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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