just tell him i said nine months
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
