These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
