I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
