I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Please don't give away my fajitas
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
