I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
