are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Buhtt sex?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
