I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
