Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
