He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize