I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
