I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
