Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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