that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize