So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Blood and glitter go together right?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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