So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
