I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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