I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
