I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Bring me that man meat
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
