Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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