Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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