I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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