we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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