Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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