is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
