I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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