Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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