my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
