In the future we'll all be gay
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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