How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I need water and some morals
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
