doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she peed on how many people?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
