Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
