they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
