I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
