Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize