When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
