i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
