just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
