Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
