she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just google imaged poop.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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