I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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