i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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