I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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