is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
