Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it was like eating out sand paper
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
