help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
