I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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